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14.2.16

Blogging: Innocent Voyeurism or Manipulative Narcissism?


I've been in a bit of a funk recently. 

I've been uploading youtube videos and posts to various blogs for the past 6 years or so, and in that time, it's changed dramatically. This is something we all know, and although for the most part this is a fantastic development for young people and the internet in general, it doesn't come without it's criticisms. 

The thing I've been finding the most difficult in this part of the internet, is the recent shift into peddling a more luxurious version of a lifestyle. When I first started reading blogs this was definitely the norm. Girls like Rumi, Olivia, Karla, and Aimee allowed me to escape into this unknown world of perfect photography, etherial lighting and meticulously put together outfits that paired together, somehow looked so effortless, and certainly was desirable. 

The key thing about blogging then and now however, was, to me, this was genuine documentation.

Blogging is such a huge business now and so formulaic I find that this genuine passion for sharing has moved on from innocent voyeurism, to manipulative narcissism. Yes people develop their character, inevitably earn more money and change their tastes but recently, whenever I open up snapchat, instagram or youtube, I keep finding myself asking, who is this for?

Do I really need to know that you've bought ANOTHER Chloé bag this month or which Dior shoes you can't make your mind up between. If I'm ever in the position to buy a high priced product, the last thing I would be doing is taking to snapchat and asking opinions. I know what I like, I work hard, so I'm buying it, no question. Then maybe I'll tag it in an outfit and that's that, I go on living my life. Of course I understand people are genuinely interested in these things, but the reality is, not many people can or ever will be able to spend at this rate and it's the total removal from anything rooted in reality, coupled with the onslaught of various platform documentation surrounding this that concerns me. It's like being back at school and all the popular girls trying to out do each other with who has the newest Sketchers; only now Sketchers have been replaced with designer bags.

What I'm trying to say is, blogging has always been materialistic but recently, it's out of control. I've always found when people really flash their possessions in that way quite poor taste, you may as well just snapchat your bank statement and be done with it; we get it, you're minted now. It's gone from 'oh I like that I feel inspired', to 'her life is so amazing, why can't I have that, my life's so s**t'. I feel like there's no room anymore to just be, be without the intention of spending money or inciting jealousy in other people, to be without any agenda other than self fulfilling and not to do with anyone or anything else around you. 

So as it's Valentine's Day, I'm encouraging you to indulge in you. Sit and read your favourite book, listen to 6Music, bake something, go eat a roast and if you must watch youtube, don't watch the people or subject's that make you feel inadequate. Make it more satisfying by switching onto something slightly more thought provoking. Some of my current favourites include refinery29, British Vogue, Glossier, Chelseawears and Chrissstttiiine

And don't forget to buy yourself some flowers too.

I must just finish this by saying of course, I love this world and I love reading blogs, but please stop trying to make me see you as this generation's Carrie Bradshaw...money clearly doesn't buy taste and at the end of the day, this is all just stuff; it's fun, it's indulgent but it's not the key to happiness.



25 comments:

  1. love this so much! thanks for this post x

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  2. I love your blog and YouTube channel and the fact that you are genuine. You put this so well. It's hard to know what to think when your first instinct anymore is to check and see what someone's peddling.

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  3. I totally agree - I hate how showy some bloggers have become recently! I'm all for treating yourself, especially when you've worked hard for it, but nobody likes a bragger!

    Grace | eat, write + explore x

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    1. And they're not the first people to 'work hard' X

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  4. I totally agree. I don't dispute they don't work hard but when they say work hard pays off it really irks me because I work very hard but however hard I work I won't ever earn enough to buy such things. It's only that luxury job that will allow for such a money increase.. I can't get any higher.. their salaries are more measured on the amount they put in, but a lot of mainstream jobs are not. x

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    1. Their salaries are so far removed from the their input it's mental - thanks for commenting Gemma X

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  5. Yes! And another yes for good measure. I totally agree with you and have started to unfollow a lot who fall into this category. Not from jealousy or comparison to myself but from total boredom at seeing yet another designer something. Yawn. Dare to be different and you'll find a much more engaged audience who are interested and genuinely delighted when something good comes your way. Well said that lady!

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  6. There will always be someone who can't afford the stuff you use for your outfits.

    There are women in the third world nations who wonder how anyone has the energy to make outfits, worry about makeup, etc when they are struggling to make their ends meet and have enough energy to survive the day.

    Should the come out and shun your consumption showcase and dilemmas ?

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  7. Mary - bloody well said! I find it quite hard to follow some people and see how much they changed. They probably are still very nice people but their "norm" has become something extreme and the sad thing is that they do not see it. And it's also sad because it does affect people like me who never buy super expensive bag once, not to mention every few months. Heck! I even struggle to get myself a new pair of Nikes.

    We must try and find/keep people who are still reall and support their content. There are always people who are true to the world.

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  8. This is why you're a bloody legend! There's nothing worse than seeing all these bragging bloggers. I follow people that I could picture being an actual friend rather than an envious follower. Bravo Mary! x

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  9. Am I the only one who looked up the title? Voyuerism is spelled yeu; Voyeurism - Just by the way. And now I am intrigued, and shall continue reading.

    Oh dear, I thought it was only a problem on YouTube, and it can drive me to being really unhappy with my efforts. I think still it depends on what you want to take out of reading a blog. But that's just me, and I want to stay oblivious to the people who are big this time.

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  10. I f**king love this post so much! It's been so disheartening to watch bloggers/vloggers I adored who genuinely had passion and desire to find products that appealed to their audience and were attainable (maybe with a bit of saving) become obsessed with luxury brands simply because they are luxury with no knowledge of the materials/ingredients used that may or may not be worth the money they're spending on them and the displaying of said products with a level of smug that leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

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  11. The thing that makes me the most sad is going onto Depop and seeing youtubers/blogger selling clothes and describing them as "just worn in a video" or " just worn for a blog post" I love all of my clothes, they hold memories for me and they make me happy when I wear them. I love you blog mary ive been lusting after your eyebrow shape for years!

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  12. On point! I look through instagram and I see no personality. All the same styles.
    And its not just with beauty/fashion bloggers its the same with poeple with alot of followings.

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  13. This was an amazing post Mary. You are not afraid to speak your mind which is rare in the blogger/youtube world.

    www.thestylishvagabond.com

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  14. I love this Mary!!! So so true, role models to young girls are now people that have fabulous lifestyles with expensive products sent to them everyday of the week to then advertise to people less fortunate than themselves which makes no sense at all. How do we look up to these people? I'm all for sharing my fav products ect but I think it gets to a point where we're being consumed by consumerism.

    Love your youtube and blog posts as always :)

    www.miniaturemilk.wordpress.com // Imogen xxx

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  15. I feel like I know who you are talking about here. It is hard when you want to be supportive of success but it's also a bit like... they went from being just like us with the same budgets to all of a sudden swanning about in liberty with expensive everything every week talking about there new purchases which inadvertently makes us think shit... was I meant to have got that successful by now too?
    Makes me feel a bit less amazing. It's what I love about Grace and yourself though. I know Grace could be ALOT more showy offy than she is but she kept a foot in the real world while enjoying success. You also sweetheart, love your vibe.

    Anyway, I am going to start youtube soon so maybe you can peek at me. I am going to do a "try to get healthy and fit, while working, studying and other shit" type thing. Maybe someone will send me some willpower or motivation to my PO BOX ;)

    Can't wait for the next video!

    Emma xx

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  16. In saying that I went into Le Creuset because of you and now I will have to use my casserole dish as a clutch bag. ;) xx

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  17. Had this huge piece on how much this post was amazing. But I'll keep it simple. Thank You. Love your vibe and truth.

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